Repenting Made Easy

Have you sinned? Do you need to tell someone, anyone, GOD? Try iGod, Repenting Made Easy.

I asked if God was on drugs and he replied, "No, I'm on disk." o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o!

Jesus Answers Prayers

I was at home a few nights ago praying for success with my BFA review when I decided to toss in a little add for JC-and-ME during my prayer session. Apparently the BFA outcome is still up in the air, bu JC himself commented back on the advertisement I stuck in my last prayer session.

From http://www.emailsfromjesus.com/2008/04/what_the_cluck.html


What the cluck?

[You already know this] but I run a little blog called JC and ME located at http://jc-and-me.blogspot.com

I was wondering if you had been there Jesus, and am I doomed to an eternity of hellfire, or will I be up there with your father and Colonel Sanders eating popcorn chicken?

Please, pray for my soul Jesus.

Tim



Dear child,

I'm happy to see you've finally accepted those voices in your head as me. I have indeed visited your site and that banner looks nothing like me.

So while you're welcome here, you'll have to room with the Colonel. Don't mind the hundreds of peckers. Just don't sleep with your mouth open.

All my love,
JHC

Posted by Jesus H. Christ on April 24, 2008 9:53 PM

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter was a movie released in 2001 tagged under, Action, Comedy, Horror, and my personal favorite, Musical. The slogan is also a doozie. "The first testament says "an eye for an eye." - The second testament says "love thy neighbor." - The third testament ... Kicks Ass!!!"

Okay, well I really don't have many more adjectives to describe this little slice of cinematic heaven, so check out the official trailer I scored off youtube.com if I have begun to peak your interest.

Gay Jesus

Pictures depicting Jesus being fondled and the Apostles groping each other have caused outrage after they were displayed in a museum attached to Vienna's Roman Catholic Cathedral.

The museum has been forced to remove the most controversial picture, in which the Apostles engage in what the artist describes as a "homosexual orgy".

The exhibition, entitled "Religion, Flesh and Power" featured works from sculptor and artist Alfred Hrdlicka, who turned 80 this year and is widely feted in his native Austria. MORE.

Basically what has happened here is that over time the human race has become more tolerant of those who are different from oneself. Black Jesus is accepted and celebrated. This is apparent in the artwork, and the marketing of toys, etc. Some sparks flew when the female Jesus hit the streets, and one might conclude this is because although women are equal to men in today's society, certain aspects such as high ranking jobs, and larger salary pay are still not equal in the business world. Only very recently has the homosexual community been able to embrace and celebrate who they are without undue ridicule and harassment. This is a good step forward for the gay community, however they are leaps and bounds behind the progress that the women's rights movement took, and the liberation of African American's after the horror that was the American slave trade. There seems to be a direct correlation between public acceptance of minorities and the images depicted of Jesus. At least that is what I am able to conclude from the JC research I have conducted thus far.

JC Spotted, uh, um, uh.

I about lost control of my pee when my roommate pointed me to this picture. Now that's JC spotted in the least likely of places.

Threat Level Jesus

Well this was just too sweet to not post. The website http://www.threatalertjesus.com/ claims their invention, receives a signal from the Department of Homeland Security and illuminates Jesus's Halo to the proper color. At the time of this post we were threat level yellow, or elevated, shown by JC's yellow halo. I want one, and at just $19.95 it seems like a steal.

Fun JC Links

Before I make the next photo shoot post, well I need to take some pictures. Since I have yet to do that I wanted to pass along some fun Jesus Links I've found. All of these links will apper in the Internet + Jesus Links section to the right.

http://www.jesusdressup.com/ -- Um, dress up a crucified Jesus in Wizard of Oz clothing. I'm sure there is a joke in there somewhere but I don't want to get stuck by lightning on this sunny spring afternoon.

http://www.itsjesuslol.com/ -- Odd hand drawn Jesus pictures with funny captions added to them. Hit refresh/reload to see a new picture.

http://www.winkingjesus.com/ -- Winking Jesus. I guess this was some sort of internet hit I missed out on some years ago. JC didn't wink for me, and both response buttons are just add links.

http://loljesus.com/ -- LoLJesus.com does all the things I'm afraid to. Horribly offensive content within!

http://www.jesusswimming.com/ -- A calm flash of Jesus swimming and swimming and swimming.

http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/ -- I always knew he was. I hear he's voting for Obama too.

http://www.atheists-for-jesus.com/ -- A social networking site designed to bring together both believers and non-believers for stimulating conversation about Jesus.

http://rescuingjesus.org/ -- The blog and podcasts associated with the Atheists for Jesus website.

http://www.emailsfromjesus.com/ -- E-mail either Jesus or Satin and they may write back on their joint blog.

JC meets JayZ

Okay so when I was doing the previous post I wanted to think up something clever for the next time. Being a fan of Hova I realized that JC and JayZ rhymed. With a certain nonchalance I figured I'd make someone laugh when they read the title, and I would photoshop some sweet pics of JC and JayZ. I first found http://www.jesusandjigga.com, however the page seems to no longer be functional. My next stop was to Henry's Rap/Hip-Hop blog which had the following tidbit of information....

It appears that people have been taking Jay-Z's self-annointment as God MC way too seriously. In what is sure to set christians off, a new book and an accompanying website seek to marry the worlds of Jesus and Jay-Z (Hova, if you will). The website, JesusandJigga.com, claims that the book is "for anyone who is searching for a way to understand biblical applications outside of the four walls of a church."

"This isn’t my idea. It’s what Christ commands us to do," says the author Eric J. Dolce. "I think that one of the main problems Christians have had is that we have viewed many of the popular stars in film, music, tv, etc. as the enemy," he adds.

Cool. Go Hova.

Well naturally I fine tuned my search terms for Jesus and JayZ, Hova, etc. and I was surprised as to what I found. Rolling Stone Magazine had an online link from 2006 about a preacher accusing JayZ of Devil worship. The YouTube video embedded on that page no longer works, however I found a working video below....



Naturally I was a little skeptical that such a chiseled entrepreneur such as JayZ would put so much on the line by saying murder murder jeeesus in one of his songs. Apparently I wasn't the only one to not believe the preacher man. Some message board lurking yielded the information that the song was Lucifer off the Grey Album.

BOOM. The preacher man may be right that it is Hova's voice, but the Grey album was a DJ Danger Mouse remix. Or DJ sampled Hova saying the words six, six, six, murder, murder, and Jesus. He then made an interlude track and played the vocal sample back words.

Upon further research in the .nfo file that came with the Grey album it states for track 11....

11. "Lucifer 9 (Interlude)" � 2:01 (Reveals a satanic message if played backwards.)
* Samples "Revolution 9" and "I'm So Tired"; Also, "Ave, Lucifer" by Os Mutantes

The Satanic Message is the one in the Youtube video and if you are like me, and still skeptical, here is the section of the song that contains the message that I personally reversed.



If the above embed is not working you can download the .mp3 I made.

I think that any bad wrap that Hova has taken because of this is unjust, if anyone, it is DJ Danger Mouse that should take the heat on this one. Signed!


Next time:
JC and ME photo shoot #3

JC and ME Feedback

I said feedback but I was just being nice. I meant propaganda. So this random stranger, Rebeca Topacio (no contact given) took the time to protest my adventure here by e-mailing me a super duper sweet power point presentation from like 1993. Fear not however, the message is still the same....it's hasn't progressed in over 2000 years.





Next time:
JC meets JayZ

Female Jesus

When searching for information about Female Jesus I came across this book. Sounds like a good bedtime read, no?

Jesus Is Female
Moravians and Radical Religion in Early America
Aaron Spencer Fogleman

Apparently this group of individuals, the Moravians, allowed women to hold the same roles in the church that men do, and they also believed that Jesus was female. This basically pissed off the Protestant establishment and havoc was the result. Interested in more? You can order the book.

Some feel that just representing Jesus as a female is wrong. Here Jesus is shown on a cross wearing booty shorts and is topless exposing her rack. From what I understand in Australia...... (.au right?)

"A local theatre company had angered Christians in the lead-up to Easter by portraying Jesus as a semi-naked woman on the cross. Happy Dagger Theatre’s production of The York Crucifixion tells the story of the four soldiers who crucify Christ, but female actor Renee McIntosh has been cast in the role of Jesus." (From http://blogs.thewest.com.au/)

I never knew that people would get all bent out of shape by giving JC inside parts instead of outside ones. I suppose tradition resists change, and religion is tradition. Change is progressive, so I ask, what has the church done that is progressive lately?


Next time:
Some Feedback

Self Promotion

I decided to give myself a promotion to supreme ruler of San Margherita, the little Italian neighborhood that I currently live in. Just don't let the Mob know. The other bit of self promotion I wanted to do was for my upcoming Bachelor of Fine Arts review here at the Ohio State University. I am applying to the Art and Technology program with hopes of graduating in the next year with my BFA. This review basically determines my future at Ohio State, but despite this fact I have tried to remain calm and prepared. My review is April 25th and I'm going through my portfolio review website with a fine tooth comb. Let me know what you think.


Next time:
Female JC fo sho.

In the Spirit of the Season

When I first started this blog I did some serious Jesus picture research and thought I had seen damn near all Google images had to offer. I completely forgot about the stoner's of the interwebs with their bongs in hand thinking of clever things to add marijuana too.

In a holiday celebration I realized the link Hope sent me was just in time for 4/20. Since I'm no longer a freshman in high school I didn't even realize this until well into the afternoon. I again became pumped about making a new post about JC to the 420, and putting off the female Jesus thing even longer was just an added bonus.

Searching Google images I found a sweet WWJS picture I just had to share with everyone. I stole this picture from Clint's blog.

Next time:
ASL? 14/F/Heaven

Jesus Downloads MP3's

Well I was up at Scarlet and Grey Cafe tonight to see EOTO perform. I ran into a bunch of my friends and danced my ass off. It was a great time.

Upon returning to my apartment I perused my comments in a narcissistic manner and noticed my friend Missy left a fabulous link that made me literally LoL.



Did you all see that? This is totally for real and totally legit. The website (http://www.crossmp3player.com/) claims the following:


"Listen To Bible Audio ... Enjoy Your Music ... Display Your Faith Anytime and Any Place With A Cross Shaped MP3 Player."


Holy smokes it's also preloaded with a sweet 17 hours that encompasses the entire New Testament! Can you say marathon? I wonder how angry people would get if somehow an entire shipment of cross mp3 players went out loaded with Marilyn Manson by "accident."


Next time:
Female Jesus!

What Would Jesus Smoke? (WWJS)

I realized that after much procrastination, I should finally make that female Jesus post more than just a pipe dream. Gearing up for a sweet entry on female Jesus I longed for a distraction from the work it involved, and decided to check the JCandMEpics e-mail account. Inside was an e-mail from my friend Hope Moore. Inside was a link to an article titled "What Would Jesus Smoke?" My guess is he's up there puffin L's of California homegrown with Biggie and Tupac, but what do I know...anyway the article.

"What Would Jesus Smoke? The Christian doctrine on bong hits.
By Torie Bosch

On Monday, the Supreme Court heard arguments in a First Amendment case involving a high-school student who was suspended for holding a sign that said “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.” His provocative slogan turns out to have been little more than a ploy to get on TV. But what do Christian groups really think about marijuana?

It depends on the Christians, and it depends on the weed. Many major Christian denominations and religious groups have issued statements supporting medicinal marijuana use. The Presbyterian Church (USA), the United Methodist Church, the United Church of Christ, the Progressive National Baptist Convention, and the Episcopal Church have all either issued resolutions or signed statements supporting the use of marijuana under the supervision of a doctor. The Episcopal Church’s 1982 resolution even delves into politics by saying that it “urges the adoption by Congress and all states of statutes providing that the use of marijuana be permitted when deemed medically appropriate by duly licensed medical practitioners.”

There are biblical rationales for such a position. The Presbyterian Church’s position on pot-smoking, which they adopted during a June 2006 General Assembly, notes that Matthew 25:35 calls for people to give aid to those who are suffering. Many Christians in favor of medicinal marijuana use this line of argument, saying that if it helps ease the pain of people dying from cancer, it’s a good thing. more...

So thanks Hope for the sweet article link!

Next time:
You guessed it! Female Jesus

The erotic scent of JC

The internets never fail to amaze me. While wandering around looking for a blow-up Jesus doll (Which does not exist, can you say untapped market?) I found a few JC items of interest. First of all, have you ever wondered what JC smelled like? I figured wandering the dessert and the Middle East in a time before showers would lead to a fairly disgusting smell shared by all. I found out this was wrong, Jesus smells like myrrh, aloe, and cassia. Apparently this creates a "cinnamon" like smell according to the makers website www.hisessence.com. Now you can tap into this smellstravaganza and make your home, office, or bathroom smell like my man JC.

After not being able to find a blow-up JC, I was somewhat satisfied to find that both Jesus Christ action figures, and bobble head dolls (Black and White!) exist. Although you cannot drive in the carpool lane with these toys like you could with a blow-up JC, at least they offer a little in the department of making Jesus fun.









Next time:
Female Jesus (For real this time)

JC Spotted in Bryan, Ohio

So here I am in Bryan, Ohio, where I grew up. I mean I was born in Texas, but I grew up in Ohio. Anyway, Bryan is a small town of about 8000 people famous for Ohio Art the Etch-A-Sketch toy company, and Spangler Candy the makers of the Dum-Dum lollypop. Here I was in my parent's home and my sister asked for some help regarding a computer question. I wandered into my Mother's office only to see a picture hanging on the wall. He looked right at me and smiled; my man JC! Although this was just a picture it fit the bill, I quickly got my Dad's attention and had him snap a picture. Boom, JC photo shoot #2.

Next time:
Female Jesus (I swear)

Mission Statement

JC and ME was an idea born during a photo shoot in downtown Columbus, Ohio with my friend and associate Rick Merrick. Photo documentation of the city was the assignment that Rick was doing for class. I was accompanying him since it was night, in the city, and well I'm always looking for trouble. (Figuratively of course) Anyway after some shots by the waterfront Rick suggested we go take a few pictures of "Freaky Jesus." The aforementioned freakiness is due to the fact this representation of Jesus is a large shadow projected from ground level to the top of the building.

Often people mention that ah-ha! moment and this was no exception. I had, by accident, stumbled upon my artistic flare that would make this blog more than just a blahg. I situated myself next to Jesus all sassy-like and Rick snapped the photo. JC and ME had suddenly become more than just an idea, it was now a reality.

This blog is not an attempt to make fun of, or belittle Christianity, those just happen to be pleasant side effects. I am taking a secular approach to this project and trying to distance myself from the idea that I may go to Hell for making fun of Jesus. Another side effect is becoming aware. Jesus is in all facets of life, in places you'd least expect. Look around, be aware, Jesus knows if you've been bad or good. Wait, that's Santa Clause, a totally different fictional character.

Ultimately I hope to have some fun, provoke some hate from bible bangers, and get others to participate in the JC and ME phenomenon.

Next time:
Female Jesus

JC and ME Photoshoot Numba One

I am always surprised where JC pops up in my everyday life. After leaving my last class yesterday I decided to meet my good friend Rick at High Street Tattoo as he was getting some new ink done by Ryan Hadley. This was my first time in their South High St. location and naturally I became a curious George so to speak, and snooped around the shop. After deciding on some new ink myself, I sat down and let the needle feed my forearm. In a moment of slight pain I winced and looked up only to see a figurine statue of JC looking down on me from above situated on a wooden overhang just under the ceiling. Knowing there was a definite photo opportunity we grabbed a ladder from the basement and I climbed up above the LCD tv which was playing Superbad, one of the best movies ever, if you like dick drawings. (See end of post)

The view from behind JC's shoulders was amazing. I had a complete Jesus eye view of the entire tattoo shop and for a moment I felt supernatural, although maybe I just had Superbad on my mind. The result was these fine pictures, the first of many, of JC and ME. Which leads me to my next point, I would love to see some photographs of JC and YOU, which can be e-mailed to jcandmepics(at)gmail.com


Oh yea, just for fun, who doesn't like dicks?



Next time:
Mission Statement

Black Jesus

"I see black because I know I am."
-- Jesus C.

I didn't know JC was black. But then again I don't know if JC is white. Actually he might be a she....But that's a whole different topic to be discussed in a future post. Back to the subject at hand, and what large hands they are.


"You know what they say about guys with big hands."
-- Jesus C. (when asked for comment about his ridiculously large hands)


The concept of black Jesus stemmed from the African American art movement, by which black artists created art for other black people. This celebration of black art and black history meshed with religion to create black Jesus. Black Art romanticized Africa as the home of kings, queens, mathematicians and holy men, as though blacks were reaffirming, "God is in Africa, we are of Africa, God is in us."

This entitlement is common among those of the Christian faith, producing an array of ethnically diverse Jesus representations. I say this diversity is a beautiful thing, as I for one do not wish to only take my picture with white forms of JC. Let's stop being nice and start getting real people.


And we can't forget that popular Everlast song from the 90's.




Next time:
JC and ME photo shoot #1

His phone number is 537-877-2837

So I was at the bar tonight having a cocktail with some business associates when I got a txt message from the phone number 537-877-2837. At first I thought it was spam because it included instructions to check my e-mail for a special message. By the time I got home I had completely forgotten about the random txt. I casually checked my e-mail only to find that there was a message to me from jchrist.1@heaven.org with the video over to the left. It was then I noticed that the phone number I got the txt from spells Jesus Saves. I was a little freaked out.

He Came On April Fools Day

It's true. Jesus came on April Fools Day. This is hardly a crack at Christianity, rather cold hard fact, Jesus came to earth on April 1st., 2008. I was there. Well he was there, we both were there and it was great. As a Jew I think JC and I have always had a certain connection that most others in the world lack. I didn't choose to make this blog, JC came down from Heaven and selected me. I am the chosen one, I am destined to travel the city, for 40 days and nights. I will find the JC's in the world and take my picture with them.

And I encourage everyone out there in internet land to enter regular land, (armed with a camera of course) and seek out your own JC and YOU photos. Together we can take over the internet, with a little help from my boy JC.